My First Time ...Again #3

Thursday, Week 1:

The Brainwash Cafe

      

      "One must work out ones comedy muscle."  A world famous comedian shared that gem with me in a green room a while back. I am like a super retentive sponge when it comes to that type of elucidating comment. It seems logical and obvious once you hear it or read it, but until someone draws your attention to it, it might not pop into ones consciousness. I now have a new muscle to work out. My comedy muscle!

      In essence, the comment suggests that the more you practice the comedy craft and art of verbal ninjary, the better you become. This results in less extraneous cognitive load on your brain when you are performing. Thus, leaving your mind more free to improve your performance rather than waste energy on the basics. It has only been 2 days of slacking, but in this stand up comedy world, especially at this early stage, it's like hoping to be a competitive athlete and skipping daily training sessions. 

       Once again I found myself being brought to the famous 'Brainwash Cafe' by Chris and Tom. It was another wholesome experience. I truly cant get over how relaxed I feel on stage. It is a cafe/laundromat with some really cute waitresses. The crowd was as ethnically, economically and ideologically mixed as they come and most of the room were comics tonight. Of course the non-comics is where I aimed my set delivery. No point in flirting with a married woman, so to speak. Comics have analytical minds, and are usually thinking of their own set or analyzing the delivery of your material. So you can be as funny as hell and still not illicit the slightest grin. Knowing that...can keep you sane! 

        Tonight I found that how I held the mic in regard to its distance from my mouth etc. was completely automatic. When you first start getting on stage it is strange to hear your own voice and you can find yourself worrying about volume etc. With that small part of comedy on autopilot I stepped outside my bits/jokes again tonight as much as I could. 

        I have decided that every month I will try and do one perfect showcase set and then archive my material and start fresh. If I do that I may learn quicker by forcing myself to grow or die on stage.  It shouldn't be as difficult as it would've been last year when I would have lived and died by every set and clung to my material like glue. Fear stifles progression! 

        This new found 'fearlessness' (for want of a better word) is kind of awesome and empowering. I think it comes from living in that tent for a year and my other ridiculous adventures. I'm so comfortable with what I am and what I am not that other people's judgement of me is so irrelevant it is nutritive. My diverse and perverse myriad of life experiences to date have given me a personal sense of value that public humiliation cannot take away. 

         I do of course have to care to succeed, but only in respect to my joke delivery, humor and audience reading. NOT to what they think of me as an individual. This sounds obvious but I have seen comics struggle with esteem issues. Perhaps the fact that I can see a clear separation between my jokes and I is the real important thing here. Note to comics YOU ARE NOT YOUR MATERIAL OR A REFLECTION OF THE RESPONSE YOU GET!  But what do I know? I'm new here. I really hope this fearlessness feeling lasts! 

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My First Time...Again #2

Week 1, Monday.

'The Summer Place' Open Mic

From 'The Brainwash' we rolled over to 'The Summer Place' to hit the mic!

      

       The night before last at 3am while sitting in a car in Mexico before I flew to San Francisco, I promised my friend John Rey (a self-made over achieving 26yr old magazine owner) that I would get up on stage during my second week. I had my doubts when I said it, but I like to think my word is  my bond. That's why I  sometimes tell people I am going to do something. Not to brag but rather to trick myself into doing something hard, and drive myself on despite the pain. A bit like this blog… GET IT! It's public accountability. By me writing this for all to see, I am throwing myself in so deep the only way out is to succeed :)

      So anyway yeah… as I said…I promised to do an open mic by the second week. True to form I got annoyed with being afraid to try and was now ahead of myself at my second open mic on my first day in San Francisco. I was outdoing myself thanks to Chris, Tom and my ridiculous brain. In the words of the awesomely manic tiger blooded Charlie Sheen...I  was WINNING!!! 

      The only thing I fear more than being unfunny onstage is dying without trying. I've thought about being a comic for at least 10 years. Last year was the first year I finally told anyone. Why I don't know, but I think it might be because I want to do it so badly that if it doesn't work out my dream may be shattered. The overwhelming reality that my life on this planet is finite has driven me through life and through a myriad of insane life challenges and difficult feats. Someone whose work I admire once said "Frank, you're fearless." To which I quickly and honestly responded to deflect unwarranted praise "It's not that I am fearless, it is that I fear failing myself and dying without following my dreams SO MUCH, that I can't help but try." I nearly applauded myself when I said that shit!

      

       Anyway, at the 'Summer Place' the owner has decided that its patrons can smoke and they will just pay the fine if they get caught. You got to respect those principled balls. I was feeling GREAT! I guess I was riding high after my first experience of not 'Bombing' i.e. failing publically onstage.  Also. I was not feeling sick like I used to from stage fright. The host called my name and I grabbed the mic. It was a small dark bar with great acoustics and a floor light that gave me free laser eye surgery for my full 5 minute set.

San Francisco's finest was ubiquitous but I try and stay clean. No anesthetic before going up! ;)

      There was a 3/4s full room and three girls who were non comics down the back. At the bar there were about five people, one of which were a gay couple. I launched into a bit about how wonderful it was that San Francisco was so accepting and so free and the clientele as a whole appeared to enjoy it. I was conscious of my accent not being completely intelligible, so I made sure to annunciate more clearly than ever before. Every comic worth his salt will agree; people can't laugh if they cant understand you! Unless of course you are doing physical humor. I would not be famous for my diction. 

       On stage I was able to carry out a type of live meta analysis of what was going on as I performed. I was conscious that I had improved the clarity of my voice and my diction in the last year. I guess  all that  time I spent doing voice overs for mixed audiences on my youtube channel was finally paying off. I got some solid laughs and lots of smiles. I was trying to work the few bits I had into a routine and be 'likable' which actually worked. Reports back from those who watched were that "IT WAS NOT BAD." They are of course going to sugar coat it but I could tell it was not terrible. There is  obviously room for major improvement but I was pleased with myself and the fact that I had got up twice in one day with nothing prepared from a complete standing start. 

       I improvised a lot.  I feel like that is an important skill. I see too many comics lock into their set word for word and they are in a way trapped by the words. Hopefully I can maintain and improve the dexterity of my mind. I think my time in the relatively harsh social environments of both the army and the bar trade have made me quicker to the punch than I would have been otherwise. All in all just proud of myself for doing it and not wimping out. Big thanks to Chris and Tom for helping me make the jump a week ahead of schedule. It has been such an exciting and good day that  I can't sleep. I'm going for a walk….

Peace

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My First Time...Again #1

First Comedy Open Mic in 1 1/2 years.

Week 1, Monday. Open Mic #1.

The Brainwash

San Francisco, California.

So it seems I want to be a comedian...

        I'm not going to lie to you guys and gals. I was more than a little nervous today. I met my two friends Tom and Chris ahead of time. They wanted me to get up and do 5 minutes of stand up comedy at an 'open mic.' I felt like I had nothing to say yet alone try and make people laugh. To me they are both so funny, so good and so polished that I feel until I get to their level of writing I should just wait. I've done about 10-15 open mics in my life and to be honest today I felt like I was starting completely fresh and from the beginning. In the business they say 'comedy is like a muscle you have to workout regularly at the mics.' I had not seen a gym in ages and had suffered comedy atrophy.

        Public speaking is considered one of man's greatest fears and to say you are also going to be funny while you're up there on stage too is like parking a combine harvester in a childrens' playground. VERY HARD to do and painful for all involved! Turning on being funny live,at a moments notice like flicking  a  switch is extremely hard to do.

         As the public we generally only see polished comedians on stage or television...By the time they make it in front of our eyes its usually after years of practice at 'open mics' where they undergo trial by fire every night. Many lose heart and leave the craft. It's so hard that the attrition rate in the business/art is SUPER high.  For some reason I believe I can beat the odds and make a living at it. 

                        Photo from my Instagram 'GLOWPUNK' of bridge on way to perform.

        We arrived early at "The Brainwash Cafe" in San Francisco and the first slot on the 'sign up sheet' was open. Sometimes you have to wait hours to get up so I thought this must be an omen. I knew if I could just force myself to write my name on the page now I would get up when my name was called. Like any innately driven male I tend not to run from a challenge and instead seek out glory.

        The fear was terrible and exhilarating at the same time. I plucked up the short term courage and gritted my teeth to sign my name. Knowing that in the near future (but just sufficiently later) I would pay the price for penning my name. Once my name was down I immeadiately began to try and get my 5 minutes of comedy together. I did so by writing/thinking and stressing with Tom and Chris who hit the mics 4/6 times a week.

        Since I was first on the list I was going to 'open the show' I had to try and be good enough to capture the crowd right off the bat.  I enjoy the idea of free flowing and forcing myself to come up with stuff in the moment...and that is more or less what I did. But I did have 2 or 3 'solidish'  jokes to dip back into when I got lost or scared.  

           Funny enough the 'brainwash' is a busy cafe with people ordering food and drink as you deliver your jokes/bits…It's environment is a strange, enigmatic  double edged sword. The atmosphere can destroy or relax a sensitive comedian depending on his/her disposition. Oh yeah, I now identify myself as 'a comedian.' An important step I have taken for my positive psychological development. Up until now I would feel myself unworthy of the prized title. But once you step to the mic like a gladiator of humor and 'rip it' I feel you deserve the title.

        Internally I adopted an 'I don't care' attitude. Externally, I presented a grateful to be in such a wonderful city  persona (truth based). The foreign accent definitely helped to break the tension and capture the audience's attention at first. However, I have to acknowledge the accent in San Francisco and let the audience adjust before I start joking around so it is as much of a hinderance as it is a benefit.

         I did an impression of a small minded Texan, and an African American from the Tenderloin. I had never done accents before on stage so it was a terrific feeling to actually pull it off. Especially because I'm a novice and haven't been on stage in ages. I did better than some, which matters very  little really.It is a long game and the only real competition is with yourself. I exited the brainwash cafe in San Francisco driven and determined to get as skilled as Tom and Chris. They are my inspiration right now! 

        

         I feel like the initial fear has been overcome, the key now is to get more creative, stay loose, and push the boundaries every time I rock the mic… I think!? All the media attention and media exposure in Ireland over living in the tent has allowed me to take myself less seriously and not feel like I live and die by every performance (Not that I take myself too seriously anyway.) I kind of see myself as like an art project of sorts. A bundle of potential that can be shaped for good or bad. Roll on next open mic. I fear it less already, now I just want to dominate this enigmatic comedy siren.

To be continued...

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