After years of telling myself and my closest friends that I am going to try stand up comedy, I have finally got my first gig. When and where it will be I will be keep a secret because I would be mortified if anybody I knew well enough to know it was a facade of confidence saw me bomb. So I am keeping the biggest mental hurdle of my life to date between me and a room full of strangers. Safest way to do things. I have my 5 minute slot and my 5 minutes written, all that is left to do is practice my routine til it looks effortless and fluid and conquer that relentless fear of failure.
I have seen easily over 200 comedy acts perform in my life. I've seen the greats of stand up; like Dana Carvey, Robbin Williams and Dylan Moran wow their audiences. And been privileged enough to chat to some of them casually about the most intricate nuances of their craft. Their routines painfully perfect, graceful and apparently effortless.
As a result of this "inside edge" I feel under more pressure. I can not drop this baton. How could I, with all this exam winning advice I have carefully registered, processed and contemplated over the years? I have no excuse.The only reason I can give for failure is that I am just not funny. The ultimatley painful realization to any wannabe comedian. That something I really hoped to be good at is just not for me.
Perhaps I have been disillusioned all this time, thinking I could hack it on stage? Thinking I could make people laugh with my ideas? Perhaps I will bomb? I have seen 'wannabe great newbies' like me suck so bad that I swore if I ever pluck up the courage to get on stage that the least I am going to do is go down all gun blazing. No half ass attempt, no selling myself short.
The worst things about the guys who really suck is that usually they don't know they suck bad, and no one tells them. They continue sucking on stage over and over again. If I am going to fail miserably and not be funny, please Lord give me the ability to know that I sucked and not believe the well intentioned platitudes that will always follow the worst moments of your life.
I'm praying that I am able to read people like I think I can. I'm praying that my idea of funny is actually "funny." To fail at this after all the work I have put into it would hurt that fragile male ego of mine, and to be honest I am not prepared to loose. I'm going in prepared. I'm aware of my weaknesses, I know where I can trip up.
I love fear. I love risk. I live for adrenaline and all things new. I believe hard work and self analysis results in winning, and I believe one great test of a man is to overcome a fear. Failing is not an option here. If you work hard on something you have no excuse to suck. If you suck it is cause you didn't work hard enough..
I'm going nail this.....Maybe ... ha!
I'll make a little video out of this escapade :)
My You Tube channel is 'GLOWPUNK'
I have seen easily over 200 comedy acts perform in my life. I've seen the greats of stand up; like Dana Carvey, Robbin Williams and Dylan Moran wow their audiences. And been privileged enough to chat to some of them casually about the most intricate nuances of their craft. Their routines painfully perfect, graceful and apparently effortless.
As a result of this "inside edge" I feel under more pressure. I can not drop this baton. How could I, with all this exam winning advice I have carefully registered, processed and contemplated over the years? I have no excuse.The only reason I can give for failure is that I am just not funny. The ultimatley painful realization to any wannabe comedian. That something I really hoped to be good at is just not for me.
Perhaps I have been disillusioned all this time, thinking I could hack it on stage? Thinking I could make people laugh with my ideas? Perhaps I will bomb? I have seen 'wannabe great newbies' like me suck so bad that I swore if I ever pluck up the courage to get on stage that the least I am going to do is go down all gun blazing. No half ass attempt, no selling myself short.
The worst things about the guys who really suck is that usually they don't know they suck bad, and no one tells them. They continue sucking on stage over and over again. If I am going to fail miserably and not be funny, please Lord give me the ability to know that I sucked and not believe the well intentioned platitudes that will always follow the worst moments of your life.
I'm praying that I am able to read people like I think I can. I'm praying that my idea of funny is actually "funny." To fail at this after all the work I have put into it would hurt that fragile male ego of mine, and to be honest I am not prepared to loose. I'm going in prepared. I'm aware of my weaknesses, I know where I can trip up.
I love fear. I love risk. I live for adrenaline and all things new. I believe hard work and self analysis results in winning, and I believe one great test of a man is to overcome a fear. Failing is not an option here. If you work hard on something you have no excuse to suck. If you suck it is cause you didn't work hard enough..
I'm going nail this.....Maybe ... ha!
I'll make a little video out of this escapade :)
My You Tube channel is 'GLOWPUNK'
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